Friday, July 24, 2009

In memory of our boys



It took me two months to be in the right place to take & post these pictures! These are all things that the hospital gave us that I can finally share. (Look at how small their feet are!) One day I will frame and hang it all, just not there yet!

Nan you were my inspiration to finally do this! I am posting these on your three month angelversary in memory of all our children in heaven. (Nan lost her sweet triplet girls, Shelby, Megan & Lynne on April 24th and Tina lost her twin girls, Sophia & Ellie, on April 25th) Hugs to you both!

Nan's Story:
Tina's Story:

The baby room...

My dearest friend Nikole, who is a true artist, painted the baby room for us yesterday! It is beautiful!!! I cried the minute I saw it, especially the two bees together in memory of Max and Ben. She had them flying out the door.......

I am starting to put the baby room together, something I never got to do while pregnant with the boys. We are trying again and wanted to get a head start. :)

Thank you, thank you, thank you Nikole!

Dreaming of Jamaica!

I was going to frame our marriage license after we were married (don't people do that?) until I received it in the mail.....A Jamaica marriage license does not quite look like an Oregon marriage license! Needless to say it is not framed! Thought it would be fun to share!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Kate Kelly launches!

Classy, fun, and gorgeous, those are just 3 words to describe Portland Boudoir, a new site launched by Kate Kelly Photography. Are you busting your butt getting in shape for your wedding? No one is going to see that six pack you earned at Boot Camp Class when you are in your wedding dress! What better time to do a "Little Black Book" shoot for your husband-to-be. The perfect gift to present him the day of the wedding. Even if you are not getting married, this is the perfect gift to give your special someone who has everything! Book a session with your girlfriends and get a discount on your package. Katie makes you feel completely comfortable,(the cocktails help too!), great music, and a fabulous studio!! Don't worry about being in perfect shape, otherwise I would have never done it! It was really fun and I think everyone should do it at least once in their lives. Check out the Portland Boudoir site for striking photos and the blog for "sexy deals"!


I was reading my new friends blog the other day and came across what she wrote. I have found that there are way to many women who have suffered the loss that Aaron and I have. I borrowed this from Tina, who borrowed it from Mrs. A, who borrowed it from Courtney, who borrowed it from Birni, who borrowed it from Inanna, whose friend gave to her.

"Did you know every time we carry a child, they leave their DNA in us? So if someone takes enough of our blood, they can find traces of every child we've carried within us, for the rest of our lives."

I like knowing that I always physically carry a piece of my boys with me in body and spirit. I would rather be 29 weeks pregnant right now but it is comforting to know that they are in a better place and will always be with me.

It was my two month "angelversary" yesterday, they were born and passed on May 20, 2009. (Nan gave me the term and I love it!)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

To all the women in my life........

Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.

Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.

author unknown

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Health Update

I lost my twins at 20 weeks on May 20th due to IC. Devastation is the only word I can think of right now. It has been 7 weeks since their birth. I went to my general practitioner last week to have a complete physical, make sure that I am ready for my next (hopefully sooner than later) pregnancy. (my ob/gyn did not do ONE follow up test) All blood tests came back normal. Then I had an ultrasound yesterday. (super sucked, brought back memories of seeing my babies on screen. hated the my uterus was empty!) Found out I have a "mass" in my enlarged uterus, my doctor and radiologist had no idea what it was. My ob/gyn thinks it is left over "stuff" from the birth. I now have to have a D&C next week. I am really scared and hate that I now have to start over. It will be another couple months before we can start trying again and even then how long will it take to get pregnant? Ahhhhh, I just want to scream!! Why do I have to jump back on this emotional roller coaster again!?! Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers, it really helps us through this difficult time!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

My favorite band, new favorite lyrics!

As many of you know I love love love Dave Mathews Band. I am really enjoying his new album, every song! When I was watching one of his recent concerts last night (cool new channel on cable 714 plays all things music!) I heard the song "Spaceman" and loved the words. They are SO true to my life right now. Had to share. :) Makes me think of my love for my boys....Aaron, Max & Benjamin!!

"Doesn't everybody deserve to have the good life?
But it don't always work out
Cry cry baby, if we must
Just remember, Oh remember
I love the way you love me, baby
And I love the way you move"